2018.01 Recouping and Regrouping

I’d like to say that my over-melancholic spineless and often surprisingly emotional disposition last year began in September when my mom became seriously ill, or when I managed to turn my ankle in a class II sprain in June, but looking back it was really starting late fall of 2016.  The culprit was none other than the 400 mg of magnesium citrate I was taking at night and NOT taking any calcium to help balance it.  Nevermind, that I had come to hurt in a hundred places from time to time too.  That and not enough salt were sneaky villains in my physical and emotional life until I got wise to them in fall of last year.

In mom’s illness and trying to fortify her aging body to deal with the physical offenders, my sister and I came to realize that every time we gave her magnesium or calcium in any form she became overly emotional to the point that it felt like dealing with a young child.  Come to find out that the emotional response to magnesium is true of my oldest daughter and my sister.  So I started playing with taking different types of magnesium and realized that while my response was less than theirs, I was experiencing the same thing and had no idea.  I switched to a different form in a fraction of what I was taking and added regular dosage of eggshell calcium.  Omigosh!  what a difference!

Somewhere in the time we did this, I came back to life.  My emotional strength and my logical head returned to me, no longer lost in a pile of mush.  Now I am not saying that emotions are bad, because I love my feelings, their range of flux, their juicy moments of delight, passionate bursts of joy, and even their intense moments of anger over injustice, but to feel like crying over every little thing or worse yet not feeling any courage to speak my mind because I am held hostage by a somewhat irrational fear or many fears was paralyzing.  I felt paralyzed for most of the year until maybe November when I made the discovery.  My ankle took forever to heal too.  After two months of calcium and another month of taking a LOT of Himalayan pink salt, I am able to run again with no repercussions.  It’s a miracle!!

I have come to learn and believe that we are terribly de-mineralized in this country.  The table salt we’ve been told has iodine to protect us is actually eroding us, it is devoid of vital minerals that our bodies need for strong bones and teeth.  When your teeth start breaking off it’s a sign that your minerals are low.  It’s just a matter of time before other parts start deteriorating as well.

Magnesium is my friend.  It helps me sleep like the dead, but the wrong type made me floppy, emotional and feeling old.  Balance with calcium matters too.  I feel very thankful to have figured this all out and am enjoying not hurting anywhere and thankful to be able to really run again.

My motivation to write has also returned and drive to get out of my job and move into my future.  So tomorrow I embark on a new round of self-employment.  The next ten weeks will be working my regular job and the new one along with the part-time one I already have and just because I’m crazy I will be taking a class as well to help me decide about what direction for grad school.  I feel scared, and cautiously optimistic.  This has to be done though because every day a potential lay off becomes more real and the chance they could close our branch altogether.  Hoping to either get laid off with a severance package or find success in the new endeavor enough to give two weeks notice.

Steppin’ out,

Kiki

It’s an old song, but it’s hopeful!